Rocket Whore

Star Trek Online Beta Gameplay! With Screenshots!

I am goddamn sick of fantasy games. That is why I had to change my underwear when I saw "Star Trek Beta Key" in my inbox this morning. After downloading the client, making an account and double-clicking the .exe, I was ready to boldly go where no man has gone before.

The launcher is a standard one. There was some message on it, but I deemed that unimportant initially. Probably something about how great I was for checking out the beta. I was too enthralled with the button that says “Engage” on it. I clicked it and started my journey towards a world of adventure and excitement.

The login screen. The beginning. A fresh new start. No more elves or trolls. No more swords and bows. Phasers, tachyon pulses, and chroniton particles would fill that void and then some. I was ready. Would I fight as a Klingon, or explore as a Vulcan? Perhaps be a feisty Andorian with a nervous tick. I filled out my login information, and what happened next blew my mind.

“The server is busy at the moment, please try again later.”

Now, I've played my share of MMORPGs in the past and never before have I been so engaged.

“The server is busy at the moment...” is this some sort of futuristic computer code? My mind swirled with the possibilities. What do I do now?

“...please try again later.” The mystery and majesty of the Star Trek universe filled me. It was enticing me, asking me to play again and again. Who knows what alien races and cultures lay beyond my next login.

The planet in the background looked a little bubbly and dated, but don't be fooled. It was the mystery. Filling your brain with the possibilities that lay on the planet. Sentient life forms? Badgers? Used car salesmen? Blue sentient life forms? Simply limitless.

And what's to the right? A space station? Like Deep Space 9, maybe. Or is it my ship? I want to meet the crew. I want to shake their hands and have dinner with them .Then I want to leave abruptly when “Captain to the bridge. Sir, you better see this” comes over my communicator.

I was giddy with anticipation for my next mission, so I logged back in. Boy, was I surprised. Every hope, wish, and dream I have ever had was fulfilled with one page.

“The server is busy at the moment, please try again later.”

My head was ready to explode. I must fulfill my mission. By orders of Star Fleet and the United Federation of Planets, I was to “...try again.”

And try again I did.

I'm still trying again four hours later. Stay tuned for updates of my new missions and adventures.

LOOK! I think one of the stars in the background moved. I'm on the edge of my seat.